American GLAADiators

To the uninitiated the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness seems like any other 24 Hour Fitness, and from the outside the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness appears to be just like any other fitness club, but as anyone who has ever entered the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness can attest, the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is not a gym, the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is a gay night club...with treadmills!

The West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is scary. Not because it is full of gay guys but because it is full of scary gay guys...who pump iron. I am pretty tough but even I won't make eye contact with the gays there because I don't want to end up the victim who "was asking for it by the way he was dressed."

Imagine a locker room where the football team and the cheerleaders take showers together after the game. Now imagine that the football players and the cheerleaders are all horny naked gay men and you can begin to understand the dynamic of the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness locker room. I won't even use a bottom locker there because I don't want to give off the wrong impression.

And the locker room is tame compared to the route one has to take to get to the fitness area. Between the lockers and the weights are a sauna, a steam room, and a Jacuzzi, (or as the gays refer to them, "Paradise," "Heaven," and "Nirvana"). But even more disturbing is that the gays are restless and cannot stay in one place for too long so there is constant bare-chested, "banana hammock" Speedo wearing, homoerotic foot traffic to navigate. Going from the changing area to the weight room is like maneuvering through a gay obstacle course – It's like running the "Eliminator" on American GLAADiators. (Yes, I wrote this whole blog just for that joke.)

Finally making it to the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness weight room is fabulous! Not just because you might still be an anal virgin but because of the outfits. If you have ever wanted to see a zippered fishnet muscle shirt then the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is the place for you. And warming up is fun too because the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness doesn't have bicycles it has stationary Vespas.

But lately, since California legalized same-sex marriage, the gay couples at the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness have "settled down." So whether you're a competitive bi-athlete or just experimenting there is plenty of space to practice exercises unique to the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness such as the very challenging, "limp-wrist dumbbell curl." And, more importantly, unlike other area hot spots, you don't ever have to worry about the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness changing its name just because the Persians start showing up.

-Rocky