I wouldn't be surprised if there were a physical altercation between the candidates this presidential election.
I think that the sole reason John McCain challenged Barack Obama to the town hall meetings is to juxtapose their toughness because if the presidential campaigns of Al Gore and John Kerry have taught us anything it is that America does not like pussies, (figuratively, of course, a lot of us really like literal pussies, you know what I'm sayin'? High five!).
But if Obama holds his own or doesn't appear meek enough I think McCain could resort to physically challenging the junior senator because it would be a no-win situation for Obama – If Obama takes the high road he's just another liberal wuss, and if he stands up to McCain, he's just a punk who stood up to an old man.
(Which, coincidentally, is the same reason that I never sparred with girls – it's a no-win situation...ugly girls, that is...lesbian, ugly girls...because trust me if I thought getting punched in the face might lead to a blow job, then lace 'em up, you know what I'm sayin'? High five!)
-Rocky
Showing posts with label John McCain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John McCain. Show all posts
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Not Too Impotent, Harumpa!
All right, finally an issue that lets me express my non-partisan, extremely moderate views...
It isn't right the way the "liberal media" is treating John McCain's "not too important" remark. (Now, just because I don't think that it's right doesn't mean that I think it's unfair. The "right-wing media" has been practicing this type of conduct for years so for the "left" to merely counter with the same maneuver is reasonable and, as the saying goes, "turnabout is fair play." But it does reinforce, and slightly justify, claims of a "left-wing media bias.")
But it's not right the way the press is blowing John McCain's "not too important" gaffe out of proportion because John McCain was making a perfectly legitimate point – the problem with Iraq isn't that our soldiers are there, the problem with Iraq is that our soldiers are continuing to die there, (and the stop-loss policy which requires them to serve against their will for an administration that opposes paying for their college education, but that's another blog). But what McCain said makes perfect sense – our military forces have been in Germany, Japan, and Korea way longer than they have been in Iraq but there isn't a nationwide uproar demanding that we bring our troops home from those countries because our soldiers aren't continuing to die on a daily basis in Germany, Japan, and Korea.
The problem with Iraq is that the controversial war there has been so terribly mismanaged that our brave men and women are continuing to unnecessarily die there.
The problem with John McCain is that, when doing interviews, he resembles a beginner stand-up comic at his first open mic, (and he's nuttier than squirrel shit, but again, that's another blog).
John McCain is like a guy who loves comedy, has studied all of the greats, and can recite verbatim his favorites' routines; he's a funny guy, he's written a lot of funny jokes, and he has what he thinks is a very tight set, but then, when he gets on stage, he bombs because he doesn't understand the practical nuances of stand-up comedy. Not only has he not figured out the dynamic between the comic and the crowd, but more importantly, John McCain hasn't realized that not all types of jokes work for all types of comedians – John McCain hasn't found his comedic voice.
Whereas Barack Obama can say that McCain would just be a third Bush term and it works, McCain tries to say that Obama would be a second Carter term and it doesn't. Not just because his statement causes the listener to realize that McCain was in his forties during the Carter administration, and not just because it's a little silly that a guy has to go back three decades just to be relevant, but because when McCain says it, it's forced.
Obama's routine flows – it's motivated and it appears natural. McCain's bits are clumsy – they aren't set up and he seems to be trying too hard. Instead of reacting to what McCain says we're left pondering why and how he said it.
The "not too important" comment stands out because it didn't really answer Matt Lauer's question. McCain wasn't trying to say that it's "not too important" for the next president to have a good estimate of when our troops can come home from Iraq, McCain was trying to say that the question Lauer asked was "not too important" because he had recently figured out how to deflect and neutralize such criticism. But because McCain couldn't wait to reveal the punch line, he bungled the delivery, and, as the saying goes, "timing is everything."
The real story behind McCain's recent comments is that they reveal that what is going on in John McCain's head is different than what is going on. Like a teenager who wants so desperately to be cool that he wears his brand-new, hip sweater to school even though it’s a humid 94 degrees out, John McCain can't wait to show off his latest one-liner because he honestly believes that a superficial quip is what secures 270 electoral votes.
McCain is grossly outmatched in this election but twisting his words is only counter-productive because it will cause his supporters to become emotionally involved with his defense. If this campaign is kept on an intellectual battleground, the current administration's philosophies don't stand a chance, but if this becomes another election against the "liberal media," the Democrats could be in trouble. And regardless of the issues, if McCain starts finishing his sentences with "hurumpa!," Obama won't be occupying the White House any time soon.
It's Sunday so yes, I'm still a little drunk,
Rocky
It isn't right the way the "liberal media" is treating John McCain's "not too important" remark. (Now, just because I don't think that it's right doesn't mean that I think it's unfair. The "right-wing media" has been practicing this type of conduct for years so for the "left" to merely counter with the same maneuver is reasonable and, as the saying goes, "turnabout is fair play." But it does reinforce, and slightly justify, claims of a "left-wing media bias.")
But it's not right the way the press is blowing John McCain's "not too important" gaffe out of proportion because John McCain was making a perfectly legitimate point – the problem with Iraq isn't that our soldiers are there, the problem with Iraq is that our soldiers are continuing to die there, (and the stop-loss policy which requires them to serve against their will for an administration that opposes paying for their college education, but that's another blog). But what McCain said makes perfect sense – our military forces have been in Germany, Japan, and Korea way longer than they have been in Iraq but there isn't a nationwide uproar demanding that we bring our troops home from those countries because our soldiers aren't continuing to die on a daily basis in Germany, Japan, and Korea.
The problem with Iraq is that the controversial war there has been so terribly mismanaged that our brave men and women are continuing to unnecessarily die there.
The problem with John McCain is that, when doing interviews, he resembles a beginner stand-up comic at his first open mic, (and he's nuttier than squirrel shit, but again, that's another blog).
John McCain is like a guy who loves comedy, has studied all of the greats, and can recite verbatim his favorites' routines; he's a funny guy, he's written a lot of funny jokes, and he has what he thinks is a very tight set, but then, when he gets on stage, he bombs because he doesn't understand the practical nuances of stand-up comedy. Not only has he not figured out the dynamic between the comic and the crowd, but more importantly, John McCain hasn't realized that not all types of jokes work for all types of comedians – John McCain hasn't found his comedic voice.
Whereas Barack Obama can say that McCain would just be a third Bush term and it works, McCain tries to say that Obama would be a second Carter term and it doesn't. Not just because his statement causes the listener to realize that McCain was in his forties during the Carter administration, and not just because it's a little silly that a guy has to go back three decades just to be relevant, but because when McCain says it, it's forced.
Obama's routine flows – it's motivated and it appears natural. McCain's bits are clumsy – they aren't set up and he seems to be trying too hard. Instead of reacting to what McCain says we're left pondering why and how he said it.
The "not too important" comment stands out because it didn't really answer Matt Lauer's question. McCain wasn't trying to say that it's "not too important" for the next president to have a good estimate of when our troops can come home from Iraq, McCain was trying to say that the question Lauer asked was "not too important" because he had recently figured out how to deflect and neutralize such criticism. But because McCain couldn't wait to reveal the punch line, he bungled the delivery, and, as the saying goes, "timing is everything."
The real story behind McCain's recent comments is that they reveal that what is going on in John McCain's head is different than what is going on. Like a teenager who wants so desperately to be cool that he wears his brand-new, hip sweater to school even though it’s a humid 94 degrees out, John McCain can't wait to show off his latest one-liner because he honestly believes that a superficial quip is what secures 270 electoral votes.
McCain is grossly outmatched in this election but twisting his words is only counter-productive because it will cause his supporters to become emotionally involved with his defense. If this campaign is kept on an intellectual battleground, the current administration's philosophies don't stand a chance, but if this becomes another election against the "liberal media," the Democrats could be in trouble. And regardless of the issues, if McCain starts finishing his sentences with "hurumpa!," Obama won't be occupying the White House any time soon.
It's Sunday so yes, I'm still a little drunk,
Rocky
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Hungry For Change?
Anybody see John McCain's speech this week? The one scheduled right before Hillary and Barack's on Tuesday evening? What's up with his new campaign colors? I guess since Obama already gave claim to the patriotic, "red, white, and blue," the next best color scheme available was Subway and Blimpie's "green, white, and yellow"?
What message is McCain trying to send – "I know the nation is a mess folks, but come on, $5 footlongs...and make sure you get the right change..."?
It's a brilliant strategy – Who can focus on foreign policy, our economy, or his age when they're hankering for a Cold Cut Trio? Load 'em up on carbs and hopefully they'll be too sleepy to vote. And since he needs Florida maybe he can get that heavily sought after, extremely coveted, South Beach Diet endorsement?
Jared for VP!
-Rocky
What message is McCain trying to send – "I know the nation is a mess folks, but come on, $5 footlongs...and make sure you get the right change..."?
It's a brilliant strategy – Who can focus on foreign policy, our economy, or his age when they're hankering for a Cold Cut Trio? Load 'em up on carbs and hopefully they'll be too sleepy to vote. And since he needs Florida maybe he can get that heavily sought after, extremely coveted, South Beach Diet endorsement?
Jared for VP!
-Rocky
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Bluffing and a Joke
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno." – John McCain June, 1998
Wanna hear a funnier joke? A lot of Hillary Clinton supporters are still trying to convince whoever will listen that they'd rather vote for Hillary's "good friend" John McCain instead of Barack Obama.
"Strong means weak." - Mike Caro on bluffing, Caro's Book of Poker Tells
Chip and a chair,
Rocky
Wanna hear a funnier joke? A lot of Hillary Clinton supporters are still trying to convince whoever will listen that they'd rather vote for Hillary's "good friend" John McCain instead of Barack Obama.
"Strong means weak." - Mike Caro on bluffing, Caro's Book of Poker Tells
Chip and a chair,
Rocky
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
A Clever Title About a Fruit That Rots The Whole Bushel
John McCain and the Right would love nothing more than to be able to say "Obama-Clinton".
Hillary Clinton might be the only Democrat that the Republicans can beat.
-Rocky
Hillary Clinton might be the only Democrat that the Republicans can beat.
-Rocky
Monday, June 2, 2008
The Truth Is...
Welcome to another installment of "The Truth Is..."
Hillary Clinton says that her staying in the Democratic primary isn't hurting the Democrats' chances in the general election and that she is the better presidential candidate...
The truth is...Here on Earth, giving an opponent a three month head start is bad. Not only is Hillary hampering the DNC's ability to raise money because they don't have a candidate yet, but she is giving John McCain, a 72 year-old man who "misspeaks" when he is tired, over three months to rest. If Hillary doesn't think she is hampering the Democrats' chances in the fall she is either wrong or lying...again.
The truth is...Barack Obama is the better presidential candidate because, though half of the people in this country might not vote for Barack, half of the people in this country will definitely vote against Hillary.
There isn't a more polarizing political figure than Hillary Clinton. Even if she was just running for the local school board, nobody on the Right will stay home if Hillary Clinton is on the ballot. And it's not just the Right, there are Independents and Democrats who absolutely despise the lady. Hillary rubs people the wrong way, she always has, and it's not just because she's a woman, (but it is partly because she says it's just because she's a woman). Hillary is one of these people that cause strangers' intuition to say "careful with this one." They don't know why, they don't have evidence to support their gut feeling, but they have an instinct. And for the people who had this inkling but were evolved enough to not prejudge, her presidential campaign has only confirmed their deepest suspicions.
The truth is...The majority of Americans know that had any other Democratic candidate won the primaries in Florida and Michigan, Florida and Michigan wouldn't have been an issue.
The truth is...Had Obama made the "sniper fire" claims, his campaign would have been over in less than a week because Obama supporters would not stand for a dishonest candidate, (which is why they're Obama supporters).
The truth is...Hillary Clinton lost the Democratic primary three months ago. And, whether she lost because of a terrible campaign strategy, whether she lost because of gender bias, or whether she lost because of a "disrespectful" media, the truth is...She lost!
But what is most troubling to Obama supporters, and reinforcing to Hillary haters, is that since losing, Hillary has embarked on a campaign to make sure that no Democrat will become president in 2008.
Maybe Hillary hopes that John McCain's head start is insurmountable, but luckily, the truth is...before the primaries started, most people thought Hillary's lead was insurmountable too.
-Rocky
Hillary Clinton says that her staying in the Democratic primary isn't hurting the Democrats' chances in the general election and that she is the better presidential candidate...
The truth is...Here on Earth, giving an opponent a three month head start is bad. Not only is Hillary hampering the DNC's ability to raise money because they don't have a candidate yet, but she is giving John McCain, a 72 year-old man who "misspeaks" when he is tired, over three months to rest. If Hillary doesn't think she is hampering the Democrats' chances in the fall she is either wrong or lying...again.
The truth is...Barack Obama is the better presidential candidate because, though half of the people in this country might not vote for Barack, half of the people in this country will definitely vote against Hillary.
There isn't a more polarizing political figure than Hillary Clinton. Even if she was just running for the local school board, nobody on the Right will stay home if Hillary Clinton is on the ballot. And it's not just the Right, there are Independents and Democrats who absolutely despise the lady. Hillary rubs people the wrong way, she always has, and it's not just because she's a woman, (but it is partly because she says it's just because she's a woman). Hillary is one of these people that cause strangers' intuition to say "careful with this one." They don't know why, they don't have evidence to support their gut feeling, but they have an instinct. And for the people who had this inkling but were evolved enough to not prejudge, her presidential campaign has only confirmed their deepest suspicions.
The truth is...The majority of Americans know that had any other Democratic candidate won the primaries in Florida and Michigan, Florida and Michigan wouldn't have been an issue.
The truth is...Had Obama made the "sniper fire" claims, his campaign would have been over in less than a week because Obama supporters would not stand for a dishonest candidate, (which is why they're Obama supporters).
The truth is...Hillary Clinton lost the Democratic primary three months ago. And, whether she lost because of a terrible campaign strategy, whether she lost because of gender bias, or whether she lost because of a "disrespectful" media, the truth is...She lost!
But what is most troubling to Obama supporters, and reinforcing to Hillary haters, is that since losing, Hillary has embarked on a campaign to make sure that no Democrat will become president in 2008.
Maybe Hillary hopes that John McCain's head start is insurmountable, but luckily, the truth is...before the primaries started, most people thought Hillary's lead was insurmountable too.
-Rocky
Friday, May 30, 2008
McCain's "Just" Visiting
John McCain approved of and supports the Bush administration's invasion and subsequent "war in Iraq" but has recently been insinuating that Barack Obama isn't qualified to make policy decisions on Iraq because Obama hasn't visited Iraq in over four years. How many times did George W. Bush visit Iraq before he authorized the unilateral, preemptive, military action to overthrow its government?
Also, I’ve decided that one can be for the invasion of Iraq and against the handling of the war in Iraq, but one cannot be for the handling of the war in Iraq and for the invasion because all explanations that justify why Iraq is the clusterfuck that it is are reasons why the Bush administration should not have rushed into the "go-it-alone" invasion of Iraq.
-Rocky
Also, I’ve decided that one can be for the invasion of Iraq and against the handling of the war in Iraq, but one cannot be for the handling of the war in Iraq and for the invasion because all explanations that justify why Iraq is the clusterfuck that it is are reasons why the Bush administration should not have rushed into the "go-it-alone" invasion of Iraq.
-Rocky
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Surrender Reason
This presidential campaign has got my juices flowing and hopefully I'll get back to frequent posting...
In response to being heckled during a speech Sen. John McCain said he would "never surrender in Iraq."
"Surrender"? Didn't we attack Iraq? Attackers can't "surrender," attackers can only "stop attacking."
When a rapist stops raping his victim and runs away, the cops don't say that the rapist "surrendered" to the victim.
Only defenders can "surrender." When attackers stop attacking it's not called "surrendering," it's called "leaving."
-Rocky
In response to being heckled during a speech Sen. John McCain said he would "never surrender in Iraq."
"Surrender"? Didn't we attack Iraq? Attackers can't "surrender," attackers can only "stop attacking."
When a rapist stops raping his victim and runs away, the cops don't say that the rapist "surrendered" to the victim.
Only defenders can "surrender." When attackers stop attacking it's not called "surrendering," it's called "leaving."
-Rocky
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