Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Financial Depression
I think that in order to qualify for a diagnosis of clinical depression one must first submit a 1040 because if you're poor, you're not depressed, you're sad. You don't need medication you need money.
Take two thousand dollars and call me in the morning,
Rocky
Take two thousand dollars and call me in the morning,
Rocky
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
American GLAADiators
To the uninitiated the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness seems like any other 24 Hour Fitness, and from the outside the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness appears to be just like any other fitness club, but as anyone who has ever entered the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness can attest, the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is not a gym, the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is a gay night club...with treadmills!
The West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is scary. Not because it is full of gay guys but because it is full of scary gay guys...who pump iron. I am pretty tough but even I won't make eye contact with the gays there because I don't want to end up the victim who "was asking for it by the way he was dressed."
Imagine a locker room where the football team and the cheerleaders take showers together after the game. Now imagine that the football players and the cheerleaders are all horny naked gay men and you can begin to understand the dynamic of the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness locker room. I won't even use a bottom locker there because I don't want to give off the wrong impression.
And the locker room is tame compared to the route one has to take to get to the fitness area. Between the lockers and the weights are a sauna, a steam room, and a Jacuzzi, (or as the gays refer to them, "Paradise," "Heaven," and "Nirvana"). But even more disturbing is that the gays are restless and cannot stay in one place for too long so there is constant bare-chested, "banana hammock" Speedo wearing, homoerotic foot traffic to navigate. Going from the changing area to the weight room is like maneuvering through a gay obstacle course – It's like running the "Eliminator" on American GLAADiators. (Yes, I wrote this whole blog just for that joke.)
Finally making it to the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness weight room is fabulous! Not just because you might still be an anal virgin but because of the outfits. If you have ever wanted to see a zippered fishnet muscle shirt then the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is the place for you. And warming up is fun too because the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness doesn't have bicycles it has stationary Vespas.
But lately, since California legalized same-sex marriage, the gay couples at the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness have "settled down." So whether you're a competitive bi-athlete or just experimenting there is plenty of space to practice exercises unique to the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness such as the very challenging, "limp-wrist dumbbell curl." And, more importantly, unlike other area hot spots, you don't ever have to worry about the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness changing its name just because the Persians start showing up.
-Rocky
The West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is scary. Not because it is full of gay guys but because it is full of scary gay guys...who pump iron. I am pretty tough but even I won't make eye contact with the gays there because I don't want to end up the victim who "was asking for it by the way he was dressed."
Imagine a locker room where the football team and the cheerleaders take showers together after the game. Now imagine that the football players and the cheerleaders are all horny naked gay men and you can begin to understand the dynamic of the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness locker room. I won't even use a bottom locker there because I don't want to give off the wrong impression.
And the locker room is tame compared to the route one has to take to get to the fitness area. Between the lockers and the weights are a sauna, a steam room, and a Jacuzzi, (or as the gays refer to them, "Paradise," "Heaven," and "Nirvana"). But even more disturbing is that the gays are restless and cannot stay in one place for too long so there is constant bare-chested, "banana hammock" Speedo wearing, homoerotic foot traffic to navigate. Going from the changing area to the weight room is like maneuvering through a gay obstacle course – It's like running the "Eliminator" on American GLAADiators. (Yes, I wrote this whole blog just for that joke.)
Finally making it to the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness weight room is fabulous! Not just because you might still be an anal virgin but because of the outfits. If you have ever wanted to see a zippered fishnet muscle shirt then the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness is the place for you. And warming up is fun too because the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness doesn't have bicycles it has stationary Vespas.
But lately, since California legalized same-sex marriage, the gay couples at the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness have "settled down." So whether you're a competitive bi-athlete or just experimenting there is plenty of space to practice exercises unique to the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness such as the very challenging, "limp-wrist dumbbell curl." And, more importantly, unlike other area hot spots, you don't ever have to worry about the West Hollywood 24 Hour Fitness changing its name just because the Persians start showing up.
-Rocky
Friday, June 20, 2008
VEGAS TIP #1
VEGAS TIP #1: Hookers are terrible at video poker. Seriously, it's as if they're not even trying. They play like they'd rather be somewhere else...
Thursday, June 19, 2008
CalTrance
Today I drove behind a Caltrans, (California Department of Transportation), truck with a bumper sticker that read: "Watch the Road." Thinking about the irony of an object attracting my attention just to tell me to look elsewhere made it hard to concentrate on watching the road.
Next time on Affecting Public Behavior with Brilliant Expenditures of Taxpayers' Money: The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and their "Don't Abandon Your Baby" bumper sticker campaign.
-Rocky
Next time on Affecting Public Behavior with Brilliant Expenditures of Taxpayers' Money: The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and their "Don't Abandon Your Baby" bumper sticker campaign.
-Rocky
No MObama
I don't think that it's a good idea for the Obama campaign to give Michelle Obama a more public role, and it could cost Barack the election.
I realize that they are going after Hillary Clinton supporters but it could backfire – Michelle could become a "Hillary" – the bigger, easier, visceral target for the Right.
Michelle is no Oprah and it is going to be hard enough trying to convince America to vote for an educated Black man. To ask them to vote for a strong Black woman is too much...And she has a weird mouth – it kind of looks like the mouth of an evil rabbit nibbling on cookies.
Yes, I realize that what I just wrote is chauvinistic, racist, and superficial, but that's the way it is – this is America Goddammit!
Be mad at your parents if you're thin-skinned,
Rocky
I realize that they are going after Hillary Clinton supporters but it could backfire – Michelle could become a "Hillary" – the bigger, easier, visceral target for the Right.
Michelle is no Oprah and it is going to be hard enough trying to convince America to vote for an educated Black man. To ask them to vote for a strong Black woman is too much...And she has a weird mouth – it kind of looks like the mouth of an evil rabbit nibbling on cookies.
Yes, I realize that what I just wrote is chauvinistic, racist, and superficial, but that's the way it is – this is America Goddammit!
Be mad at your parents if you're thin-skinned,
Rocky
One China Policy
I posted this last month but I think it deserves it's own entry...
I have decided that the problem with China is that it is full of, and run by, only children. Because of their "one child" policy, the majority of China's population have grown up being the center of attention. The heads of China have never learned to share. When dealing with China we don't need to send political diplomats, we need to send child psychologists...and hand-me-downs...
-Rocky
I have decided that the problem with China is that it is full of, and run by, only children. Because of their "one child" policy, the majority of China's population have grown up being the center of attention. The heads of China have never learned to share. When dealing with China we don't need to send political diplomats, we need to send child psychologists...and hand-me-downs...
-Rocky
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Fair a Con
I could never be a Black Muslim. Sorry Malcolm X, but my God likes ham. And He might drink green tea and commune with nature most of the week, but after a rough night out my God has some black coffee with his bacon and eggs.
But the Black Muslims have got it figured out – they figured out how to discriminate without discriminating. For example: if you wanted to start a religion but you didn't want any Irish people at your church, you couldn't say "no Irish people" – that's discrimination, but you can say "no eating potatoes...or belligerent alcoholism."
But obviously that is a hypothetical scenario so let's take a real life situation – say you've got a country club and you don't want any Blacks or Jews. You can't say "no Blacks or Jews," that's discrimination, that's against the law, but you can require a swim test...and no bargaining!
"It's funny 'cause it's racist." – Ricky Gervais
"It's funny 'cause it's religious." – RockyRob
But the Black Muslims have got it figured out – they figured out how to discriminate without discriminating. For example: if you wanted to start a religion but you didn't want any Irish people at your church, you couldn't say "no Irish people" – that's discrimination, but you can say "no eating potatoes...or belligerent alcoholism."
But obviously that is a hypothetical scenario so let's take a real life situation – say you've got a country club and you don't want any Blacks or Jews. You can't say "no Blacks or Jews," that's discrimination, that's against the law, but you can require a swim test...and no bargaining!
"It's funny 'cause it's racist." – Ricky Gervais
"It's funny 'cause it's religious." – RockyRob
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Father Knows Best
In honor of Father's Day, here are a few of my Dad's words of wisdom, (and a tiny explanation as to why I turned out this way)...
One night during dinner I didn't feel like finishing my milk so my Dad exhorted, "Drink your milk, boy. Milk is one of the best things for you, why do think God made tits look so good?"
I drank my milk.
Another time, during Sunday morning breakfast, my Dad sappily pronounced to my brother and I, "I want you two boys to remember that no matter what happens to us, always remember that half of me went into making both of you...that's all that would fit."
Thank God it's hereditary.
Happy Father's Day,
Rocky
One night during dinner I didn't feel like finishing my milk so my Dad exhorted, "Drink your milk, boy. Milk is one of the best things for you, why do think God made tits look so good?"
I drank my milk.
Another time, during Sunday morning breakfast, my Dad sappily pronounced to my brother and I, "I want you two boys to remember that no matter what happens to us, always remember that half of me went into making both of you...that's all that would fit."
Thank God it's hereditary.
Happy Father's Day,
Rocky
Not Too Impotent, Harumpa!
All right, finally an issue that lets me express my non-partisan, extremely moderate views...
It isn't right the way the "liberal media" is treating John McCain's "not too important" remark. (Now, just because I don't think that it's right doesn't mean that I think it's unfair. The "right-wing media" has been practicing this type of conduct for years so for the "left" to merely counter with the same maneuver is reasonable and, as the saying goes, "turnabout is fair play." But it does reinforce, and slightly justify, claims of a "left-wing media bias.")
But it's not right the way the press is blowing John McCain's "not too important" gaffe out of proportion because John McCain was making a perfectly legitimate point – the problem with Iraq isn't that our soldiers are there, the problem with Iraq is that our soldiers are continuing to die there, (and the stop-loss policy which requires them to serve against their will for an administration that opposes paying for their college education, but that's another blog). But what McCain said makes perfect sense – our military forces have been in Germany, Japan, and Korea way longer than they have been in Iraq but there isn't a nationwide uproar demanding that we bring our troops home from those countries because our soldiers aren't continuing to die on a daily basis in Germany, Japan, and Korea.
The problem with Iraq is that the controversial war there has been so terribly mismanaged that our brave men and women are continuing to unnecessarily die there.
The problem with John McCain is that, when doing interviews, he resembles a beginner stand-up comic at his first open mic, (and he's nuttier than squirrel shit, but again, that's another blog).
John McCain is like a guy who loves comedy, has studied all of the greats, and can recite verbatim his favorites' routines; he's a funny guy, he's written a lot of funny jokes, and he has what he thinks is a very tight set, but then, when he gets on stage, he bombs because he doesn't understand the practical nuances of stand-up comedy. Not only has he not figured out the dynamic between the comic and the crowd, but more importantly, John McCain hasn't realized that not all types of jokes work for all types of comedians – John McCain hasn't found his comedic voice.
Whereas Barack Obama can say that McCain would just be a third Bush term and it works, McCain tries to say that Obama would be a second Carter term and it doesn't. Not just because his statement causes the listener to realize that McCain was in his forties during the Carter administration, and not just because it's a little silly that a guy has to go back three decades just to be relevant, but because when McCain says it, it's forced.
Obama's routine flows – it's motivated and it appears natural. McCain's bits are clumsy – they aren't set up and he seems to be trying too hard. Instead of reacting to what McCain says we're left pondering why and how he said it.
The "not too important" comment stands out because it didn't really answer Matt Lauer's question. McCain wasn't trying to say that it's "not too important" for the next president to have a good estimate of when our troops can come home from Iraq, McCain was trying to say that the question Lauer asked was "not too important" because he had recently figured out how to deflect and neutralize such criticism. But because McCain couldn't wait to reveal the punch line, he bungled the delivery, and, as the saying goes, "timing is everything."
The real story behind McCain's recent comments is that they reveal that what is going on in John McCain's head is different than what is going on. Like a teenager who wants so desperately to be cool that he wears his brand-new, hip sweater to school even though it’s a humid 94 degrees out, John McCain can't wait to show off his latest one-liner because he honestly believes that a superficial quip is what secures 270 electoral votes.
McCain is grossly outmatched in this election but twisting his words is only counter-productive because it will cause his supporters to become emotionally involved with his defense. If this campaign is kept on an intellectual battleground, the current administration's philosophies don't stand a chance, but if this becomes another election against the "liberal media," the Democrats could be in trouble. And regardless of the issues, if McCain starts finishing his sentences with "hurumpa!," Obama won't be occupying the White House any time soon.
It's Sunday so yes, I'm still a little drunk,
Rocky
It isn't right the way the "liberal media" is treating John McCain's "not too important" remark. (Now, just because I don't think that it's right doesn't mean that I think it's unfair. The "right-wing media" has been practicing this type of conduct for years so for the "left" to merely counter with the same maneuver is reasonable and, as the saying goes, "turnabout is fair play." But it does reinforce, and slightly justify, claims of a "left-wing media bias.")
But it's not right the way the press is blowing John McCain's "not too important" gaffe out of proportion because John McCain was making a perfectly legitimate point – the problem with Iraq isn't that our soldiers are there, the problem with Iraq is that our soldiers are continuing to die there, (and the stop-loss policy which requires them to serve against their will for an administration that opposes paying for their college education, but that's another blog). But what McCain said makes perfect sense – our military forces have been in Germany, Japan, and Korea way longer than they have been in Iraq but there isn't a nationwide uproar demanding that we bring our troops home from those countries because our soldiers aren't continuing to die on a daily basis in Germany, Japan, and Korea.
The problem with Iraq is that the controversial war there has been so terribly mismanaged that our brave men and women are continuing to unnecessarily die there.
The problem with John McCain is that, when doing interviews, he resembles a beginner stand-up comic at his first open mic, (and he's nuttier than squirrel shit, but again, that's another blog).
John McCain is like a guy who loves comedy, has studied all of the greats, and can recite verbatim his favorites' routines; he's a funny guy, he's written a lot of funny jokes, and he has what he thinks is a very tight set, but then, when he gets on stage, he bombs because he doesn't understand the practical nuances of stand-up comedy. Not only has he not figured out the dynamic between the comic and the crowd, but more importantly, John McCain hasn't realized that not all types of jokes work for all types of comedians – John McCain hasn't found his comedic voice.
Whereas Barack Obama can say that McCain would just be a third Bush term and it works, McCain tries to say that Obama would be a second Carter term and it doesn't. Not just because his statement causes the listener to realize that McCain was in his forties during the Carter administration, and not just because it's a little silly that a guy has to go back three decades just to be relevant, but because when McCain says it, it's forced.
Obama's routine flows – it's motivated and it appears natural. McCain's bits are clumsy – they aren't set up and he seems to be trying too hard. Instead of reacting to what McCain says we're left pondering why and how he said it.
The "not too important" comment stands out because it didn't really answer Matt Lauer's question. McCain wasn't trying to say that it's "not too important" for the next president to have a good estimate of when our troops can come home from Iraq, McCain was trying to say that the question Lauer asked was "not too important" because he had recently figured out how to deflect and neutralize such criticism. But because McCain couldn't wait to reveal the punch line, he bungled the delivery, and, as the saying goes, "timing is everything."
The real story behind McCain's recent comments is that they reveal that what is going on in John McCain's head is different than what is going on. Like a teenager who wants so desperately to be cool that he wears his brand-new, hip sweater to school even though it’s a humid 94 degrees out, John McCain can't wait to show off his latest one-liner because he honestly believes that a superficial quip is what secures 270 electoral votes.
McCain is grossly outmatched in this election but twisting his words is only counter-productive because it will cause his supporters to become emotionally involved with his defense. If this campaign is kept on an intellectual battleground, the current administration's philosophies don't stand a chance, but if this becomes another election against the "liberal media," the Democrats could be in trouble. And regardless of the issues, if McCain starts finishing his sentences with "hurumpa!," Obama won't be occupying the White House any time soon.
It's Sunday so yes, I'm still a little drunk,
Rocky
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Ringtone Deaf
What's the point of musical ringtones? I don't understand – Do you pick a song that you like or do you pick a song that you don't like? And if you pick a song that you like why would you ever want to answer your phone? If you like the song why would you want to hurriedly shut it off? And how long can you continue to like a song that you repeatedly hear the same 5 seconds of over and over and over...It would make sense to get a song that you don't like because it would definitely motivate you to answer your phone, but why would you want to pay for shitty music?
As far as I'm concerned, IT'S A PHONE! Phones are supposed to ring! If I wanted music to magically explode from my pants at the most inopportune times I would put a remote-controlled radio in my pocket and give the controllers to zoo animals. But then again, I'm old school.
Do you hear ringing?
Rocky
(I am becoming increasingly aware that there is a widening generational gap between me and my own generation.)
As far as I'm concerned, IT'S A PHONE! Phones are supposed to ring! If I wanted music to magically explode from my pants at the most inopportune times I would put a remote-controlled radio in my pocket and give the controllers to zoo animals. But then again, I'm old school.
Do you hear ringing?
Rocky
(I am becoming increasingly aware that there is a widening generational gap between me and my own generation.)
Friday, June 13, 2008
Genesis of Cavemen
My fascination with cavemen began when I went paintballin' (paintball shooting) out in Rivertucky (Riverside) with my friend Bert Kreischer, (the guy who, if there was a God, would have been Adam Carolla's replacement on Loveline, check out his website, bertbertbert.com). Just after Bert told a group of "advanced" players that the real "advanced" players were in Iraq, we observed a Dungeons & Dragons alum galloping up the paved walkway. Bert remarked, "that kid obviously didn't play sports growing up," and this caused me to ponder: How did cavemen run?
When this kid tried to attain speeds above walking he looked like he was one twitch away from having a seizure, and it's most likely because he had never been shown proper running technique. Whether by his Dad, a P.E. teacher, a track coach, etc. nobody had ever taken the time to make sure that this kid developed the grace of a gazelle. And, in his defense, the kid didn't have any reason to learn: Most Taco Bells have a drive-thru and video game controllers only reach so far. But cavemen didn't have washed-up jocks with bachelor's degrees to learn from. They didn't have 'how-to' books or subscriptions to Runner's World to rely upon. Cavemen didn't even have mirrors to help observe their own form. Since this kid was only moving in the way that his gangly frame instinctively functioned, maybe we just witnessed Man at his most primal. Instead of squinting at the awkwardness of this doofus, maybe we should be admiring the beauty of our shared ancestry. But then it hit me: Evolution. Running was vital for caveman survival. Whether it was pursuing prey or fleeing a predator - running was a life or death situation. And any caveman kid that ran like this idiot most likely became a Saber-Toothed Tiger hors d'oeuvre and never procreated.
But there had to be a caveman who realized the importance of running and running well. There had to be a caveman who realized the potential reward from exploiting such an obvious human necessity. There had to be a Jewish caveman! Imagine caveman running seminars. And, with humans being naturally competitive, they were probably always racing each other...Imagine caveman Olympics!
-Rocky
When this kid tried to attain speeds above walking he looked like he was one twitch away from having a seizure, and it's most likely because he had never been shown proper running technique. Whether by his Dad, a P.E. teacher, a track coach, etc. nobody had ever taken the time to make sure that this kid developed the grace of a gazelle. And, in his defense, the kid didn't have any reason to learn: Most Taco Bells have a drive-thru and video game controllers only reach so far. But cavemen didn't have washed-up jocks with bachelor's degrees to learn from. They didn't have 'how-to' books or subscriptions to Runner's World to rely upon. Cavemen didn't even have mirrors to help observe their own form. Since this kid was only moving in the way that his gangly frame instinctively functioned, maybe we just witnessed Man at his most primal. Instead of squinting at the awkwardness of this doofus, maybe we should be admiring the beauty of our shared ancestry. But then it hit me: Evolution. Running was vital for caveman survival. Whether it was pursuing prey or fleeing a predator - running was a life or death situation. And any caveman kid that ran like this idiot most likely became a Saber-Toothed Tiger hors d'oeuvre and never procreated.
But there had to be a caveman who realized the importance of running and running well. There had to be a caveman who realized the potential reward from exploiting such an obvious human necessity. There had to be a Jewish caveman! Imagine caveman running seminars. And, with humans being naturally competitive, they were probably always racing each other...Imagine caveman Olympics!
-Rocky
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Ramen Emperor
I had some Top Ramen today...because I'm poor. I swear to God, I'm so broke that I was the victim of identity theft and it actually helped my credit. But I had some Top Ramen today and, I shit you not, on the package it actually says, "To lower sodium, use less seasoning." Seriously, that's their health tip, "To lower sodium, use less seasoning?" That's like saying, "To lower calories, don't eat."
What's next? On the package, next to "serving size," just a picture of a guy shrugging and saying "How hungry are you?"?
It's my bacon and I'll put butter on it if I want to!
-Rocky
What's next? On the package, next to "serving size," just a picture of a guy shrugging and saying "How hungry are you?"?
It's my bacon and I'll put butter on it if I want to!
-Rocky
Monday, June 9, 2008
Thin on T.P.
I just realized that toilet paper is the only reason that I ever go grocery shopping. If I never ran out of toilet paper I would probably starve to death, but I would save about a hundred bucks a week...and I would really suck at Supermarket Sweep.
-Rocky
-Rocky
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Hungry For Change?
Anybody see John McCain's speech this week? The one scheduled right before Hillary and Barack's on Tuesday evening? What's up with his new campaign colors? I guess since Obama already gave claim to the patriotic, "red, white, and blue," the next best color scheme available was Subway and Blimpie's "green, white, and yellow"?
What message is McCain trying to send – "I know the nation is a mess folks, but come on, $5 footlongs...and make sure you get the right change..."?
It's a brilliant strategy – Who can focus on foreign policy, our economy, or his age when they're hankering for a Cold Cut Trio? Load 'em up on carbs and hopefully they'll be too sleepy to vote. And since he needs Florida maybe he can get that heavily sought after, extremely coveted, South Beach Diet endorsement?
Jared for VP!
-Rocky
What message is McCain trying to send – "I know the nation is a mess folks, but come on, $5 footlongs...and make sure you get the right change..."?
It's a brilliant strategy – Who can focus on foreign policy, our economy, or his age when they're hankering for a Cold Cut Trio? Load 'em up on carbs and hopefully they'll be too sleepy to vote. And since he needs Florida maybe he can get that heavily sought after, extremely coveted, South Beach Diet endorsement?
Jared for VP!
-Rocky
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Bluffing and a Joke
"Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno." – John McCain June, 1998
Wanna hear a funnier joke? A lot of Hillary Clinton supporters are still trying to convince whoever will listen that they'd rather vote for Hillary's "good friend" John McCain instead of Barack Obama.
"Strong means weak." - Mike Caro on bluffing, Caro's Book of Poker Tells
Chip and a chair,
Rocky
Wanna hear a funnier joke? A lot of Hillary Clinton supporters are still trying to convince whoever will listen that they'd rather vote for Hillary's "good friend" John McCain instead of Barack Obama.
"Strong means weak." - Mike Caro on bluffing, Caro's Book of Poker Tells
Chip and a chair,
Rocky
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
"Time to Decompress"???
Barack Obama finally reached the magic number of primary delegates necessary for the Democratic Party's presidential nomination yet Hillary Clinton still refuses to concede or even explain her campaign's immediate objectives. And now she, (and the Right), are justifying her current stalling by saying that she can't make any decisions right now because she "needs time to decompress."
Really? "Time to decompress"? Are you kidding me?!!! For the past three months, even though she was all but mathematically eliminated, Hillary has been shouting at whoever will listen that she is the better presidential candidate yet now it's okay that she is without the capacity to make any decisions because she "needs time to decompress"?
Can you imagine FDR, JFK, or even Bill Clinton ever saying that he can't make any decisions right now because he "needs time to decompress"?
Picture George W. Bush explaining that he can't answer any questions about Scott McClellan's book because the past seven years have been very strenuous, and he has terribly mismanaged an unnecessary war, and his administration is involved in numerous scandals, and he really just "needs time to decompress."
The truth is, Hillary is such a narcissist that she needs to make it look like Barack's winning is her decision. She is such a control freak that she needs to be in charge, not Barack Obama, not the American voters, not the democratic process or even arithmetic, she, Hillary Clinton, is responsible for Barack Obama winning the Democratic Primary. And the irony is, she is responsible for Barack Obama winning.
She isn't as powerful as she thinks, she is as divisive, petty, and dishonest as the Right Wing Media said she was (before they magically (strategically) started praising her as the greatest thing since sliced bread), and honestly, she might be the only Democrat that the Republicans can beat this fall. Like Karl Rove said, her negative rating is too high for her to win a nation-wide election, and, as an extreme moderate and very liberal conservative Independent, I hope she just goes away so that America can get excited about positive politics again.
But, then again, I'm not an uneducated, hard-working white voter so obviously I'm gender-biased,
Rocky
Really? "Time to decompress"? Are you kidding me?!!! For the past three months, even though she was all but mathematically eliminated, Hillary has been shouting at whoever will listen that she is the better presidential candidate yet now it's okay that she is without the capacity to make any decisions because she "needs time to decompress"?
Can you imagine FDR, JFK, or even Bill Clinton ever saying that he can't make any decisions right now because he "needs time to decompress"?
Picture George W. Bush explaining that he can't answer any questions about Scott McClellan's book because the past seven years have been very strenuous, and he has terribly mismanaged an unnecessary war, and his administration is involved in numerous scandals, and he really just "needs time to decompress."
The truth is, Hillary is such a narcissist that she needs to make it look like Barack's winning is her decision. She is such a control freak that she needs to be in charge, not Barack Obama, not the American voters, not the democratic process or even arithmetic, she, Hillary Clinton, is responsible for Barack Obama winning the Democratic Primary. And the irony is, she is responsible for Barack Obama winning.
She isn't as powerful as she thinks, she is as divisive, petty, and dishonest as the Right Wing Media said she was (before they magically (strategically) started praising her as the greatest thing since sliced bread), and honestly, she might be the only Democrat that the Republicans can beat this fall. Like Karl Rove said, her negative rating is too high for her to win a nation-wide election, and, as an extreme moderate and very liberal conservative Independent, I hope she just goes away so that America can get excited about positive politics again.
But, then again, I'm not an uneducated, hard-working white voter so obviously I'm gender-biased,
Rocky
What If She's Right?
Kids, it's that time again...Time for another episode of..."What if She's Right?"
In emails, speeches, and to the media ad nauseam, Hillary Clinton and her team say that she has received "more votes than any candidate...in the history of the Democratic Party..."
Yes, she spent more money to campaign in more primaries, arguably unopposed, than any other candidate in history, and what about caucus votes, but still...what if she's right? Wouldn't that mean that Hillary Clinton, the lady who received more primary votes than any other candidate in the history of the Democratic Party yet still couldn't get enough delegates to win the nomination, is the biggest failure in the history of the Democratic Party?
Next time on "What If She's Right?" Sean Hannity and the "most radical elements in American society..."
-Rocky
In emails, speeches, and to the media ad nauseam, Hillary Clinton and her team say that she has received "more votes than any candidate...in the history of the Democratic Party..."
Yes, she spent more money to campaign in more primaries, arguably unopposed, than any other candidate in history, and what about caucus votes, but still...what if she's right? Wouldn't that mean that Hillary Clinton, the lady who received more primary votes than any other candidate in the history of the Democratic Party yet still couldn't get enough delegates to win the nomination, is the biggest failure in the history of the Democratic Party?
Next time on "What If She's Right?" Sean Hannity and the "most radical elements in American society..."
-Rocky
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
A Clever Title About a Fruit That Rots The Whole Bushel
John McCain and the Right would love nothing more than to be able to say "Obama-Clinton".
Hillary Clinton might be the only Democrat that the Republicans can beat.
-Rocky
Hillary Clinton might be the only Democrat that the Republicans can beat.
-Rocky
BREAKING NEWS...
Sources have just confirmed that Hillary Clinton is going to concede that the Democratic primaries are over...
Her actions definitely deserve to be rewarded.
-Rocky
Her actions definitely deserve to be rewarded.
-Rocky
What If She's Right?
Geraldine Ferraro's recent resurfacing has reminded me of a game that I like to play called: "What if she's right?"
Ferraro asserted, and has been defending her claim, that Barack Obama is only in the position that he is in because he is Black. The media is fixated on debating why she is wrong, but "what if she's right?"
If Ferraro is right then that means that her candidate, Hillary Clinton, is such a terrible candidate that she can't even beat a guy who is only winning because he is Black.
Next time on "What if she's right?" Gender bias and the uneducated, hard working, white vote...
I love bacon,
Rocky
Ferraro asserted, and has been defending her claim, that Barack Obama is only in the position that he is in because he is Black. The media is fixated on debating why she is wrong, but "what if she's right?"
If Ferraro is right then that means that her candidate, Hillary Clinton, is such a terrible candidate that she can't even beat a guy who is only winning because he is Black.
Next time on "What if she's right?" Gender bias and the uneducated, hard working, white vote...
I love bacon,
Rocky
Monday, June 2, 2008
The Truth Is...
Welcome to another installment of "The Truth Is..."
Hillary Clinton says that her staying in the Democratic primary isn't hurting the Democrats' chances in the general election and that she is the better presidential candidate...
The truth is...Here on Earth, giving an opponent a three month head start is bad. Not only is Hillary hampering the DNC's ability to raise money because they don't have a candidate yet, but she is giving John McCain, a 72 year-old man who "misspeaks" when he is tired, over three months to rest. If Hillary doesn't think she is hampering the Democrats' chances in the fall she is either wrong or lying...again.
The truth is...Barack Obama is the better presidential candidate because, though half of the people in this country might not vote for Barack, half of the people in this country will definitely vote against Hillary.
There isn't a more polarizing political figure than Hillary Clinton. Even if she was just running for the local school board, nobody on the Right will stay home if Hillary Clinton is on the ballot. And it's not just the Right, there are Independents and Democrats who absolutely despise the lady. Hillary rubs people the wrong way, she always has, and it's not just because she's a woman, (but it is partly because she says it's just because she's a woman). Hillary is one of these people that cause strangers' intuition to say "careful with this one." They don't know why, they don't have evidence to support their gut feeling, but they have an instinct. And for the people who had this inkling but were evolved enough to not prejudge, her presidential campaign has only confirmed their deepest suspicions.
The truth is...The majority of Americans know that had any other Democratic candidate won the primaries in Florida and Michigan, Florida and Michigan wouldn't have been an issue.
The truth is...Had Obama made the "sniper fire" claims, his campaign would have been over in less than a week because Obama supporters would not stand for a dishonest candidate, (which is why they're Obama supporters).
The truth is...Hillary Clinton lost the Democratic primary three months ago. And, whether she lost because of a terrible campaign strategy, whether she lost because of gender bias, or whether she lost because of a "disrespectful" media, the truth is...She lost!
But what is most troubling to Obama supporters, and reinforcing to Hillary haters, is that since losing, Hillary has embarked on a campaign to make sure that no Democrat will become president in 2008.
Maybe Hillary hopes that John McCain's head start is insurmountable, but luckily, the truth is...before the primaries started, most people thought Hillary's lead was insurmountable too.
-Rocky
Hillary Clinton says that her staying in the Democratic primary isn't hurting the Democrats' chances in the general election and that she is the better presidential candidate...
The truth is...Here on Earth, giving an opponent a three month head start is bad. Not only is Hillary hampering the DNC's ability to raise money because they don't have a candidate yet, but she is giving John McCain, a 72 year-old man who "misspeaks" when he is tired, over three months to rest. If Hillary doesn't think she is hampering the Democrats' chances in the fall she is either wrong or lying...again.
The truth is...Barack Obama is the better presidential candidate because, though half of the people in this country might not vote for Barack, half of the people in this country will definitely vote against Hillary.
There isn't a more polarizing political figure than Hillary Clinton. Even if she was just running for the local school board, nobody on the Right will stay home if Hillary Clinton is on the ballot. And it's not just the Right, there are Independents and Democrats who absolutely despise the lady. Hillary rubs people the wrong way, she always has, and it's not just because she's a woman, (but it is partly because she says it's just because she's a woman). Hillary is one of these people that cause strangers' intuition to say "careful with this one." They don't know why, they don't have evidence to support their gut feeling, but they have an instinct. And for the people who had this inkling but were evolved enough to not prejudge, her presidential campaign has only confirmed their deepest suspicions.
The truth is...The majority of Americans know that had any other Democratic candidate won the primaries in Florida and Michigan, Florida and Michigan wouldn't have been an issue.
The truth is...Had Obama made the "sniper fire" claims, his campaign would have been over in less than a week because Obama supporters would not stand for a dishonest candidate, (which is why they're Obama supporters).
The truth is...Hillary Clinton lost the Democratic primary three months ago. And, whether she lost because of a terrible campaign strategy, whether she lost because of gender bias, or whether she lost because of a "disrespectful" media, the truth is...She lost!
But what is most troubling to Obama supporters, and reinforcing to Hillary haters, is that since losing, Hillary has embarked on a campaign to make sure that no Democrat will become president in 2008.
Maybe Hillary hopes that John McCain's head start is insurmountable, but luckily, the truth is...before the primaries started, most people thought Hillary's lead was insurmountable too.
-Rocky
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